A great opening start to the season for the second team who came up against a determined M/Keynes side who clearly were not just there too make up the numbers. Naturally, mistakes were made, but there were lots of positives, and the game was played in good spirits with the weather also playing part as it was a scorching hot day. The Old Boys were rocked by the revelation that just before kick-off, scrrun-half Luke “Studmuffin” Saunders had to pull out with a badly bruised ego!!!! It was later revealed that his reason for not playing was that his brand-new girlfriend (despite the fact that she’d gone away for the day) had TOLD him he could not play, and luke (sad muppett) followed her instructions to the letter!!!! His place was taken by dependable Fuckers!!!!!
The forwards seemed to pick up where they had left off from last season providing dominance in the loose as well as the tight. This was none more so evident from the first scrum where they basically pushed the opposition back at will This allowed the Old Boys to dominate field position and territory, and within a few minutes after a period of concerted pressure, Dale “Yellow card” Pearson drove over from over from 5 yards out. The forwards provided a wonderful platform for the backs despite the fact that with Pete “Smooth Dude” King, Gary “ I can never pay my bleeding subs” Craddock, “Evergreen” (or is it ever black??) winger Mutty and Jamie “Magic Torch” Raines raising the average age of the backs to about 67 years!!!
Whilst the opposition did apply some pressure, it was mainly because of our mistakes, but our defence was up to scratch Minutes after the first score, the second was forthcoming - once again down to forward dominance. A lineout close to Milton Keynes line led to a 15 metre rolling maul, led by Brad “My Hair was cut by David Blunkett” Burridge, Sean “ I seem to leave a trail of destruction, debt and sad women wherever I go” Helston and James “Rusk” Farley let to Carl “ I wear girly gloves to play rugby” Hanley going over for the first of his 2 tries. The Old Boys kept up the pressure, and it seemed that the oppostion at times struggled to keep up with the pace. This was typified by a quick-tap penalty taken by fuckers which got in behind the defence. He was tackled but managed to offload onto Mutty who bore down towards the try line with only the fullback to beat. However, he heard and saw winger Hanley to his right, drew the full back, which saw Hanley scamper under the posts. It became a case of when, and not if we would score, but this had a detrimental effect as people then began to play individually. The main cohesion was kept, and Fuckers got his reward by diving over from close range.
The Old Boys seemed to lose their heads as M/Keynes then came storming back and put us under some real pressure, but this ignited the backs to produce the move of the match - it was just a shame it did not end in a try. Craddock (from just under his own posts no less!!!!) slung a wide pass out to “magic Torch” who made an initial break in his own 22. He was tackled but shipped it to Mutty who provided a link, drew a man and passed it to “Smooth Dude” Pete King, who in trun drew another defender, passed it back inside to Mutty. The winger then drew another man before passing inside to Craddock. This whole flowing move took the Old Boys 70 meters downfield, only for referee Alan Barnes blowing his whistle, and claiming a forward pass - a move which absolutely incensed “Smooth Dude” as he was the one who was penalised for the offending pass. Barney has now been crossed off his Xmas Card list!!!! This move had the forwards clapping in appreciation.
Half time beckoned - and Luke “Studmuffin” Saunders decided to ring the changes and take off some of his more experienced players to give some others some game time. Some of the players to come off were Mutty, “Magic Torch”, “Smooth Dude” and Danny “Dangerous” Saunders who, after having seen his belly, looked like he had spent most of his summer at McDonalds and KFC!!! The second half got going, and the backs were continually supplied with a plethora of ball, but due to some new personnel not having played together, lost their shape. This was eventually regained but not before some players decided to play individually, and not as a team. Tim “I’m seriously under the thumb” York came on and looked like an overage dumbarse twat with his silly scrum cap (probably borrowed from the equally stupid James Hinde). Once he came on, he made an immediate impression, got the ball from 10 yards out, and headed for the try line, although his vision was seriously obscured by his scrum cap which meant he almost ran into the posts!!!! Dale “I have just got to learn to pass the ball instead of thinking that I can steam-roller everyone” Pearson had scored his second try just before Yorkies effort . The seventh and final try came from Warren Roberts who shoed good strength and awareness to score after taking a pass from Keating. Soon after, the game was abandoned due to one of their players sustaining an injury. By then , the job was well and truly done and everything is looking good for the visit of Bedford Swifts next week
FINALLY:
If people are interested, I have access to at least 30 tickets to got to “Urban Tiger” Gentlemans Club in Northampton. These are free of charge and I may be able to get more. I will try and organise a little evening in late November if I get some good feedback. Please let me know, but keep your diaries free for end of November. Don’t bother asking your wives/girlfriends/partners if you can go - JUST GOD DAMN TELL THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
